Hi! I am Charlie, and I run a team of secret Frenchie angels through the K-9 communications network. They solve all kinds of things. They put me in charge because I am so smart. I know who did what and when. You should know that I can see into the future. I have my eye on you because I know you are coming to get me. I am a Cream French Bulldog puppy with extra charisma; thank you very much. Me and my siblings were uprooted from NYC to DC when coronavirus hit but they say my furever home can be anywhere within driving distance. But here I am in Washington, DC where there are lots of humans. We have a park area where we go out and play. I love to soak up the sun. To make sure I get evenly tanned, lay on my belly with my chunky rear legs pointed away from my nose. When I lay like that the humans laugh and say I have frog legs. I have to be careful because I hear some humans like fried frog legs and I kind of need my legs. Besides, my skin is smooth and looks nothing like the bumpy kind like frogs.
I’m 8 weeks old and very healthy. I know this because I can hear when the vet tells my temporary humans. (They have no idea that I understand English as well as French. Shh.) When other humans first see me, they tell me how handsome and striking I am. Look at my pictures because I think I might become a supermodel GQ-Frenchie. I cannot decide which side is my best side. What do you think?
Like I said, I am in charge. My siblings might disagree, but they only do that when I am not around to hear them talking. I can chase balls as good as anyone, but I have to let the others win sometimes. Otherwise, they pout because I beat them. Since I know how good-looking I am, when I know people are looking, I proudly strut my stuff. I would hold my tail high, but I did not get one.
There are lots of french bulldogs around, but if you let me pick you, I guarantee that there will not be any dull moments. I am definitely eye candy, so when we go for a walk, everyone will stop to admire me. If you are single, you might want to get cards with your name and number to hand out to the good-looking ones. Hint: put my name on the card too: it will help start the conversation.
No question that I am healthy; I mean, look at this finely chiseled hunk of manliness! The vet has seen me several times, and I have my shots. (Grrrrrrr!) Some people worry that a lot of Frenchies have skin problems. None of my relatives have any problems with their skin or anything else. The secret is feeding me the right food, giving me healthy treats, petting me 36 hours per day, making sure I play, giving me healthy treats, giving me belly rubs, and using only quality bath products. (Did I mention treats?)
I am a Frenchie, and we have very particular needs. You should probably do a little research before getting your heart set on one of us. Our faces make us very desirable because it looks like we chased a cement wall. How many other animals have you seen whose eyes can look inside their own nostrils? Just kidding! Mostly. Brachycephalic is the name. It means our faces are squished flat and we sometimes have trouble breathing easily. Because of the short nasal passages, you better like snorting and snoring…oh, and farting. What I Need in a Human
You need to always be ready to play, and you better like buying me toys. When you buy toys, think of what a Tasmanian Devil with the bite force of an alligator will do to it. If it will last more than ten minutes, then that is a toy made fur a Frenchie. Of course, I LOVE pulling the stuffing out of toys, but you have to watch as I do because sometimes, I eat the stuff. (Hey! The commercials say to eat more fiber. If they did not mean that fiber, they should have said so.) I like long walks on trails, in the bark, I mean park, or on the beach, only you have to be sure it is not too hot or not too cold. Both can cause breathing problems after just a few minutes of exertion. I do need exercise, I do need to run, I do need to catch squirrels, and I do need to dig. The one thing I do not need to do is swim. Our bodies are made to sink like a pallet of bricks, and since we have no snout, swimming pushes water into our nostrils. Trust me; it is not a good thing. Now, playing in the rain is a different story. That [bleep], excuse my French, is fun!
I must have a human who is nurturing and knows when it is time to cuddle, which is always. I do not always listen very well, so you gotta be patient. My temporary humans are making me tell you that Frenchies are very stubborn. (They said something very mean about us having thick skulls.) Because I am so bossy, you need to understand that what I woof goes. Seriously, if you treat me just right, I will make it look like you are the boss as long as you know the truth. Did I mention that you need to like cuddling – a bunch? I will woof at you if you ever furget to give lots of belly rubs. Ooh, and ear scratches, those are important. Plus, you have to promise to take me to the vet regularly.
Now, do not make me woof you twice: call my temporary humans and take me on a test walk. You will fall in love with this face in a New York minute. Oh, I know where to get the bestest cheesecake too. Besides, I woofed you to do it, so you kind of have to do it.
Be sure to read the section that talks about my mommy and daddy. It has essential infurmation.